Google vs. Milton
The stapler as symbol of the modern – and not so modern – workplace achieved its iconic status thanks to the 1999 cult comedy classic Office Space, and Milton’s obsession with his original bright red Swingline®. It also seems to be a recurring theme for many an office-related prank as per the early days of The Office (UK version). But has the stapler finally become a fossil ready for the boneyard? That seems to be the case for Google. Not happy with laying off 12,000 employees, it’s owner, Alphabet, has gone all-in on extreme cost cutting measures including limiting the use of staplers.
Where ChatGPT meets the stapler
At Google, and probably many offices, staplers are out and AI is definitely in. But is this a fad or a trend? As frothy pandemic profitability settles down for many areas of the economy – from tech giants to steel prices – many companies are scouring for improved productivity gains. AI seems to get a lot of hype, for obvious reasons. But eliminating staplers?
I get the pro-argument for eliminating staplers. We touch a lot less paper these days. But the con-argument is more nuanced, deep and complex (is there anything as satisfying as receiving a real business card or a handwritten letter in the mail? In an envelope?) And let’s face it, we have no idea what AI will or won’t bring, whether revolutionary and/or terrifying. And if the internet and smartphones are any indication, it probably means generating the-greatest-of-all-time, but totally-fake cat videos. But where does that leave the stapler and its residual value for office workers in 2023 and beyond?
My own obsession with staplers
It happened about 20 years ago when I did a stint as a faculty member for a leading Executive MBA program in Budapest. At the time I was trying to make lectures about Operations and Quality Management a bit livelier than the chapter on the Juran Quality Trilogy (Steve Jobs was a apparently a big fan) from the dusty textbook I inherited from the previous professor.
My failure to find a good example was made worse by the totally shitty stapler which was always jamming as I tried to organize the mountains of case studies and articles that tend to grow like mold when one is trying to organize a 33-hour course for the first time. My office colleague, probably tired of my incessant barking and foul-mouthed temper tantrums, kindly lent me her stapler.
It was a revelation. Small. Handsome. Smooth. After stapling large stacks of paper I would run my fingers over the top and bottom sides of the perfectly formed, cleanly inserted staple. It was an engineering marvel. I would practice flipping the pages just to experience the ease and elegance of the beautifully stapled pages turning forward and backward. Best of all, I now had a truly tangible example for the “Dimensions of Quality” I had to cover in that week’s class (we’ll donate $100 to your favorite charity if you can guess how many “dimensions” there are, and another $100 for each one you can name . . .).
The (de)Humanisation of the Workplace
My favorite joke about the factory of the future is the only living creatures allowed inside will be a man and dog. And the role of the dog will be to make sure the man doesn’t touch anything. This has never been so true as in these heady days. This cynicism probably goes a long way to explain why so many folks, including even the New York Times, revel in the aura of a high-quality stapler. “Nothing, really, comes close to the satisfying ka-chunk of a stapler: it’s a sound that means work is getting done”, exclaims author and self-proclaimed stapler expert Phyllis Korkki.
The world is increasingly digital and this trend will undoubtedly persist. But alas, we’re still human (for now). This means an innate need for physical connection and stimulation of the senses. Whether it’s vinyl records, paper books, pens and pencils, Moleskine® notebooks, or the Swingline stapler, analog devices (and analog thinking) will always have a place in office productivity and office culture.